I Became a Mum Adoption Update #9

I have discovered recently that I struggle to write on the blog when things are hard. And lately things have been hard. I knew I needed to write another post months ago. I eventually started writing this one almost two weeks ago. It's time to finish it. Over this time there have also been some amazing highs amongst the lows so I recommend you prepare a relaxing beverage of choice as this is a long one.

In my last adoption update I talked about having my first court hearing and the only thing changing being the date. Well, that happened a few times, 5 to be exact. Different reasons were given such as 'other matters being dealt with in court' and 'emergency holiday' (that was my favourite). Each time it was disheartening but then I would remember that we were still one court case closer to being approved.

I managed to prepare the new document they asked for, got it printed at the local printer and set off to the notary to have it signed. While signing it he noticed that I hadn't put my middle name on the document and said that this might be a problem and if it was to just come back. I drove home, 15 minutes away, and found out it was a problem so I fixed the document, had it printed again at the local printer and set off for the notary to sign the new document. I got home and was about to post the newly signed copy when I realised that the notary hadn't written where it was signed. I sent him a text. He said come straight over. So I hopped in my car and for the third time that day I went to the notary. I had already visited the local printer 4 times that day to get copies printed and then scanned so in order to minimise further embarrassment I downloaded a scanner app and scanned it myself. From here the document was sent to the DIA, Department of Internal Affairs. Once they had done something with it, I have no idea what, they posted it to Auckland and from there it was sent to India... which took 20 days. Twenty Days of refreshing my tracking screen. The interesting thing was that they scanned it every day, it just didn't move! But eventually it got there.

Once my papers got to court the manager of my SAA (Specialist Adoption Agency) encouraged the lawyer to look at the case. They didn't on the next hearing but the manager insisted on a hearing not too far away from the previous one. Sometimes hearings can be a month or more apart. The next hearing was three weeks away, the last day of work for me. That evening the judge decided that he wanted to video call with me the next day although it got very confusing as I had to do a practise video call the evening that he had decided this. The next evening I got dressed up in my kurti, an indian outfit that had arrived from a purchase on trade me that day, did my makeup and checked the background for my video call. The evening before the background was all black, as I was sitting in front of my curtains. They didn't like that. So I made sure I settled myself in the dining room with a tidy kitchen behind me. The judge asked for the description of the room I was in. He also asked me about my husband and what I did for a job. He was impressed that I was a teacher but not so much that I wasn't married. He finished by asking me if I thought I was the best mum for my daughter. "Yes!" was my answer and thankfully 'Yes' was the judge's answer in the early hours of Saturday morning. The video call was literally five minutes long. Done.

Mum and I celebrated motherhood by heading to the Riccarton Market. I talked to the SAA Manager and Wendy from the New Zealand Adoption Agency and found out the approximate time I would be heading to India after birth certificates and passports were issued. I then emailed Business World Travel who are organising my flights and asked for some costings of travel for those dates and what airlines were flying to India. As you can imagine everything changes quickly in a pandemic. BWT gave me some options for flying to India. I was happy with the costs that were given to fly Emirates and with MIQ coming to an end in mid February I was ready to roll. (A lot of happy dancing was done when isolation at home was announced). Until.... 'Breaking News' New Zealand stretched out its MIQ dates. With the arrival of the flights I was looking at I would have been able to isolate at home but with the extension I will probably have to MIQ... which means booking a spot... which means $3500 more. Everything changes quickly in a pandemic.

So now the go is that I will have to travel to India, isolate for a week as NZ has been labelled a high risk country in India (this happened only a few days after our MIQ was announced as ending), travel to my daughter's city, stay there for 3 nights, travel back to Mumbai, apply for an exit permit, wait approximately two weeks for one, fly to Auckland via Dubai and quarantine in Auckland for 10 days. It feels pretty daunting so I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time. Most businesses have closed down in NZ now for Christmas and New Year so my focus at the moment is contacting hotels in Mumbai and Bunny's city.

The timeline is currently going faster than expected with the Indian Birth Certificate that would usually take 2-4 weeks taking less than a week. Once again though, everything changes quickly in a pandemic. 

I am still video calling my daughter every fortnight. It is lovely to see her learning new things and interacting with me more. I had bought her some presents via Indian Amazon, such as picture books related to Indian culture. She delightfully showed me these, turning the pages and pointing to some things that she recognised. I also bought her some Indian clothes which she twirled around in. As with all our conversations Bella, our cat, was a huge highlight. Bunny picks up her toy cat whenever she sees Bella and says "Bella, Bella." At one point in the video Bella headbutted the camera to which Bunny did the same. Later I showed her that Bella was sitting on the carpet, she put her Bella on the floor. Bella then lay down and Bunny straight away positioned her Bella to be lying down in a similar way. It was wonderful to see her feeling more comfortable during our call and relating to what was happening on the screen. I just hope the real Bella relates well to her when she arrives. She can be a princess.

So now it's 3 days until MIQ spaces open. Due to the amount of time we have to spend away my friend, who was going to accompany me, is probably unable to. Walking through this has been difficult as the thought of going to India by myself felt very overwhelming, but there is another option so I am hoping that works out. India taking us off the high risk country list and being able to isolate at home would also be a blessing but for now we work with the knowledge that we have.

I have saved hard and had a lot of support from many of you over the past 4 and a half years. We are almost there. In order to help us get over the last hurdles due to Covid19 my mum has set up a GiveaLittle page. The link is below. If you would like to contribute then please do or share it with others who may be interested. But let it be known that I am thankful for the prayers and support that each of you have given. Your sacrifice does not go unseen. I feel so blessed to have walked this journey with a great team of cheerleaders. And I look forward to bringing Bunny home to a community of people who love her already.

https://givealittle.co.nz/cause/help-a-little-girl-be-part-of-a-family.