Travelling Further Than We Expected

'More often than not, the journey to where God wants to take us requires that we travel further than we ever expected... if you simply give up because the journey was longer and harder than you expected, then you have become a settler when you should be a pioneer. The unfortunate reality is that many of us would... rather settle for less than sacrifice more.'
The Last Arrow by Erwin Raphael McManus

Pioneering is never easy and settling for the comfortable can seem the best option. But pioneer we must.

The past few weeks have been filled with difficult challenges. One of the most recent (and most costly) being waking up to a water cylinder that had been leaking throughout the night. You don't want to discover a leaking water cylinder even at the best of times but when you know the only way to pay for it is to use money you have personally saved for your dream (adoption) it can be dream shattering. So $2,500 and a new water cylinder (and lino) later I'm back to saving. Two weeks down the track I can look at the positive side and say, "At least the money was there to pay for it." But at 6:00am on that Thursday morning (and for many days after) the road felt long and hard. I didn't know if I could go on.

My advice: Know your friends. Who are the people who see the real you? These past few weeks have been incredibly low, but there have been friends along the way who have been there, held me close and told me that this isn't the end, they'll walk this journey with me, don't settle here. A very special friend of mine has also been going through a hard time herself and often over the past few weeks we've text each other, met up and reminded each other (and ourselves) that there's got to be more than this.

Although I feel like I'm back to the starting blocks I'm keeping my focus on the day today with the goal in mind. I know that one day I will bring my daughter home from India. And between now and then I will prepare for that to happen. I'm reading books about adoption, attachment disorders and living life full of God's purpose. I recently finished the top of a quilt for Bunny (a nickname I have given my wee girl) and this afternoon I have been painting an old doll's cradle that I used as a little girl.

I know I have some big sacrifices still to make in order to not settle, and sacrifices are scary. But I've found something worth sacrificing for and I'm not settling.

Comments

  1. I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time at the moment. Try to keep positive..You will one day bring your beautiful little girl home, and all the struggle and bumps in the road will all be worth it. You're an extremely strong and loving woman, and a wonderful mother <3

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