A Beloved's Journey

It's been a long time since I have sat down to type on here. I promised this blog last week but instead I worked on that Friday and then this Friday was Matariki so no 'child-free day' but I've managed to find some time in the slightly warm mid-Winter sun to write the story of the passport. In the process of international adoption every country adopting from and to is different. If you adopt from India to the USA you need to get an Indian passport, while with your child, in order to leave the country. Not so in New Zealand. I needed the adoption papers, a current passport for New Zealand, an exit permit and citizenship for NZ in order to get back home (The USA need most of the other things as well). As it was during Covid everyone entering New Zealand needed citizenship making this a new criteria. There were two types of citizenship I could apply for 'Citizenship by Descent' and 'Citizenship by Grant'. I applied for Citizenship by Descent as that...

In writing this particular blog post there will be details that I will be rather vague or brief about. The reason for this is that some of the experiences shared with my daughter are very personal to us and I want to respect that. On Monday 7th March we boarded our Indigo Air plane just before 5am. I was rather nervous about taking this flight. I had flown internationally often enough but I had never flown domestically in another country. A slightly smaller plane on an airline that I hadn't flown with before and already feeling a large degree of nerves with knowing I would meet my daughter face to face that day. It could have been a recipe for disaster (if you know anything about how I fly) but it was amazing. The service from the staff onboard was amazing. I couldn't fault them at all. My aunty and I sat next to a man who was on his way to Nagpur for business. He knew straight away that we were from New Zealand as he had lived in Melbourne for a few years, studying. We were sh...

Aunty Sharon and I leaving Christchurch for Auckland We left for the airport at 11am on Saturday 5th March. The check in process was relatively easy and stress free with Air New Zealand being very accommodating and helpful. We arrived in Auckland just after 2pm and took a bus to the international airport. The airport was quiet but I was surprised to see so many people on our plane. At the airport the Emirates staff were unfortunately not so helpful. There was a form that I was supposed to have filled in online. Instead I had printed off the PDF version and filled it in four times for both my Aunty Sharon and myself as I was told we would need four copies. The next hour was an interesting experience as I had to fill out the form on my laptop and find documents in my emails and scan copies with my phone of things that we had in our official documents. To say it was stressful would be a huge understatement. I was close to tears until after 45 minutes one Emirates man (who was more helpful...

 The past few weeks have absolutely flown past with organising the last few details of the trip. I have bought all the things that I need for the trip and my bags are packed. I have two more days at work and then 3 days to finish off some last minute things at home before flying out of Christchurch at 1:10pm on Saturday. The closer we get the faster the clock seems to tick down! There is a mix of great excitement in becoming a family and going on an adventure but also a sense of being overwhelmed with the hugeness of those two things. But I know that God travels with us and before us.  Packing was an interesting dilemma. We are allowed 30kg checked luggage for all our flights to Delhi and 7kg carry on. We arrive in Delhi at around 4pm on Sunday and go straight to the hotel to sleep as we have to be awake at 2am the next morning to be at the airport by 3am for a domestic flight at 5:15am. We are away for 3 days and our domestic flight luggage allowance is only 15kg meaning that...

The title of this blog really lets the secret out, but it's the journey there that is the real story. Near the end of last year I started looking at flights and accommodation as I prepared to travel to India, hoping to leave in early February. At the time there were several depending factors including booking a space in MIQ*, isolating for a week in India and working out who was going to travel with me. MIQ was an interesting dilemma as I had to work backwards and forwards at the same time as when you go into a MIQ lobby you aren't guaranteed the date that you want. At the time isolation in India was just for some high risk countries including New Zealand. In order to book MIQ I needed to know how long it would take to fly to and from India (at the time I was planning on flying to Mumbai), stay in a hotel for 7 days in isolation, get a test on day 8 and wait for the results, work out how to get from Mumbai to Akola (train-10 hours, plane and drive-6.5 hours or just drive-16 hou...

I have discovered recently that I struggle to write on the blog when things are hard. And lately things have been hard. I knew I needed to write another post months ago. I eventually started writing this one almost two weeks ago. It's time to finish it. Over this time there have also been some amazing highs amongst the lows so I recommend you prepare a relaxing beverage of choice as this is a long one. In my last adoption update I talked about having my first court hearing and the only thing changing being the date. Well, that happened a few times, 5 to be exact. Different reasons were given such as 'other matters being dealt with in court' and 'emergency holiday' (that was my favourite). Each time it was disheartening but then I would remember that we were still one court case closer to being approved. I managed to prepare the new document they asked for, got it printed at the local printer and set off to the notary to have it signed. While signing it he noticed th...

 I sit here writing this blog with a latte in my hand. Those of you who know me well have just gasped as coffee is not a usual drink for me... and this one is not a single shot (my usual choice when I do drink coffee). It's a decaf! But this is not my latte. It's Stacey's. It even has her name on it. Let me tell you how I got Stacey's latte and how this relates to everything about Christmas. Today I was supermarket shopping at my local mall and because I live close I had walked down. I bought some food for the week and supplies for our family Christmas dinner. Many people were leaving the supermarket at the same time and crossing the entrance to the supermarket in order to leave the mall. This left an older lady standing with her trolley, on the other side of this stream of people, waiting to enter the supermarket. Everyone was in a rush, it was raining, children had finished school and Christmas is coming. I saw. And I stopped. I indicated to the lady that she could go...

 If you read my last post you will know that on 20th September we had our first court date in India. I didn't have to do anything for it, it was just a chance for the judge to read my paperwork. I have an e-court app which shows my court case and it tells me who is involved and the date of the next hearing, but that is about it really. So on 20th September I was constantly checking my app to see if anything had changed. I'm not too sure what I expected but with the time difference nothing had changed until I woke up the next morning. And then the only thing that had changed was the date. I was nervous about this as I know many people who are going through the court process in India at the moment and the judge won't hear their case. This is partly due to a law change that hasn't yet been implemented but will mean that in the future judges won't hear adoption cases. Some judges have started not hearing cases before the alternative system has been put in place.  Luckil...

 Wow, two posts within a week. It must be lockdown in New Zealand! A few things have happened on the adoption front since June when I last updated you on Bunny related news. In July I received NOC (a No objection Certificate) from India which means that their central adoption agency (CARA) have no objection to the match. I have to say that the number of adoption acronyms almost exceeds that of teaching which is quite unbelievable. Receiving NOC was another big step especially as I heard, not long after, that CARA was currently only working with about 4 people (for all adoptions in the whole country and internationally) as the other employees' work agreements had not been renewed yet and so therefore they were unable to go to work. I am not sure how long I waited for NOC, as I don't know when the request went in, but I know that some people have waited over 8 months. My wait definitely wasn't that long as the earliest my agency could have requested it was at the end of May. ...

It is been many months since the following story unfolded but it's now time to talk about it.   At the beginning of this year I went on to the CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority in India) website. On this website there is information regarding children with special needs or large sibling groups who are waiting to be adopted. Previously I hadn't been able to look at their files, not realising that the only reason was due to my computer not allowing pop ups! As I looked at the photos and information on many of these children a particular photo stood out, Little D. I clicked on one of her files to find out more and then went about my day.  A few days later I showed my mum Little D. She asked me what I could do now. I said I didn't know and planned to leave it at that. Mum told me I should contact Wendy (at the NZ adoption agency). I emailed Wendy about this child and she gave me some more information that I hadn't seen due to not opening all her files. She asked if ...

This is the blog post that I have been waiting to write for almost 4 years because almost 4 years ago I started this incredible, difficult, exciting journey of adoption.  It is with immense joy that I can tell you that I have been approved to adopt a little girl from the Maharashtra state in India. Bunny is coming home. Adding to that, Bunny is almost 4 years old. Yes, in the same month that I officially started this journey my daughter was born. The last few weeks have been interesting to say the least. Wendy informed me about this little girl in April. This was a referral rather than being 'matched' from CARA in India. There are children that are on the CARA portal that people can see and reserve if they are interested to know more. Being matched from India would have probably taken another year at least.  The referral came just as my home study needed to be reviewed as it had reached its two year period. This also happened to be while I was in Auckland supporting my mum th...

This is a small pondering about a common phrase people use regarding adoption.  Over this process some people who have heard my story have said 'what a lucky girl.' I understand the meaning behind this phrase and that it is meant as a compliment but I would ask that if you could please use another phrase. The reason for this is that I wouldn't say that any child who has lost their mum and dad for whatever reason is 'a lucky girl'. Yes, I understand that it is good that she no longer has to live in an orphanage and she now has a family, but it is a travesty to the human race that she got to an orphanage to begin with.  Think of a child that you know around the age of 4 or 5. Their parents die and they are adopted by a person in a far away country that look different, speak a different language and eat different food. I don't want this to sound harsh but it is important. There is nothing lucky about being an orphan. So here are some options of what you could sa...

It's been a long time, I do apologise. I have had 'Write a blog post' on my list of things to do for about 6 months. The problem was I didn't know what to write or whether it would be interesting. Now that I'm sitting to write I'm not sure where to start but hopefully my ramblings will gather to some order and sense. The title of this post is 'Learning from Other's Stories' because over the past 6+ months that is what I have been doing. It started when I commented on a post on one of the many adoption pages that I follow. I can't quite remember what happened next but it resulted in me being put in touch with a lady named Tonny who also adopted a child from India as a single woman and who lives in Canterbury. I had previously been in touch with other single woman who had adopted from India but none who I could actually go and visit. Tonny and I talked on Messenger for a few weeks and I read her blog, learning about her adoption journey and the...

  Butterfly wings for Bunny and her doll First I start with an apology. I have just seen that my last post and update on here was in April, I'm sorry for my lack of correspondence. There have been many times that I have thought of writing a post but really wondered what I would say... Covid has stalled a lot of things as I am sure you are all aware. I feel very blessed to live in NZ though. In speaking to my friends in the UK we are very, very lucky. The news on the adoption front is that I am still waiting to be matched. It feels a bit odd writing 'still waiting' as I know that this will be for much much longer and 'still' sounds impatient but what I mean is that I am continuing to do the thing that I was doing before. I contacted CARA, which is the Indian adoption authority, and they told me that the earliest I can expect to be matched is December next year. This was quite a blow at the time but now I am enjoying having a timeline of sorts and a clearer idea of ti...